Thursday, June 23, 2016

Pet peeves

LAS CRUCES –  “April is the cruelest month.”
Every year I ponder the famous line from T.S. Elliot’s epic poem, “The Waste Land.”
And every year, I come to different conclusions.
About now, I’ m feverishly hoping the winds will diminish and the pollen count will subside. I’d love some April showers to dampen all those swirling sneezy bits. To heck with the May flowers. We’ve been covered in blooming stuff since February. What we need is what we always need here in high desert country: rain, please.

In the meantime, the Doña Anas continue to blow: stirring up dust, pollen, assorted nasty pollutants, and tempers.
At this juncture, as long as I'm crabby anyway, I usually look at my pet peeve file.
This year, the peeve generating the most hits seems to be people who proclaim they are “humbled” when they’re really being honored.
There are many definitions of “humbled” online, ranging from “lowered in dignity and importance” to “decisively defeated.”
I know what some of the genuinely humble honorees are really trying to say: it’s something like the homage star-struck Garth (of “Wayne’s World”) paid to his favorite celebrities when he bowed and repeated “I am not worthy. I am not worthy.”
Maybe that’s how you feel, when you get the Oscar, the Pulitzer Prize, the Heisman Trophy, your Super Bowl ring, the Nobel Peace Prize or your Best Father in the World mug. But to be accurate, you are being honored, not humbled or humiliated. And you could be in danger of insulting and questioning the judgement of those who decided to give you the award … or even veering into humblebrag territory. (The humblebrag is characterized by calling attention to one’s accomplishments and qualities by pretending to demean them. If in doubt about the concept, look for many examples online.)
It would be gracious to say “Thank you.” You might say some nice things about people who were also in contention for the awards, or show a little true humility (while not labeling or bragging about it) by thanking those who helped you accomplish what you’re being honored for accomplishing.
It’s hard to go wrong with basic gratitude.
And it occurred to me this April that my gratitude file is a lot plumper than my pet peeves collection.
After a friend and I discussed my soulmate’s stint as a volunteer doctor in Haiti and her own efforts to help destitute communities in Africa, Afghanistan, and the homeless in her own New York neighborhood, she summed things up: “Most of us have pretty high-class worries here.”
Working on stories like today’s feature about miracle child Hope Elizabeth reminds me of how much so many of us have to be grateful about. Like kids and grandkids who are happy and healthy. And families and friends who join to help us in times of need, and the medical and spiritual resources and support networks we can access more freely and readily than people in so many parts of our impoverished and war-torn world.
During the cruelest month, in a season of some of the most vicious political infighting many of us have ever seen, it would be interesting to see what would happen if all of us worked to be truly humble and grateful and remember what’s really important in life.
S. Derrickson Moore may be reached at 575-541-5450, dmoore@lcsun-news.com or @derricksonmoore on Twitter.


No comments: