Monday, December 14, 2015

Dec. 20: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS CONVERSATION

LAS CRUCES  -  I know very clearly what I want for Christmas this year, and just as clearly that the odds of getting it are very slim.
And I’m not talking about peace on Earth and goodwill to men, women, humanity, critters and the planet itself. I still haven’t given up on all that.
Even, or maybe especially, because I’m in the news business, I see just enough evidence of sterling souls, to give me hope, despite another year of devastating, senseless shootings. I have been educated by some of those great souls to believe that the entire ocean is affected by a pebble. That whenever there are two seeking consciousnesses, somewhere in the universe, there is reason for hope, as I once heard Tenny Hale and Dr. William Sheldon agree, after a long, profound discussion.
Margaret Mead, an anthropologist and delightful human being I once interviewed during an enlightening and entertaining day, famously proclaimed: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”
And as Jesus, the transcendent soul whose birth we celebrate next week, promised nearly two millennia ago: “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
What I’m wondering is if the whole thing still works - the gathering, the seeking, the small, thoughtful committee group changing, even the pebble concept –if the link is via text, Twitter, Instagram or even the most carefully-posed selfie.
I’ve been in the communication trenches for a long time now, and I’ll agree that most forms of social media offer great ways and opportunities to start a conversation.
But it’s just a start. When it comes to positive, profound, evolutionary change in the world, I think complex, intimate and extended communication is required. And that means conversation. And conversation in real time, preferably face-to-face, live and in person, or via tablet, PC or phone apps that allow us to get a good look at the person we’re talking to, but at least involving voice communication.
I recently heard that social media tech courses are currently very big with seniors who hope to find ways to communicate with grandkids who refuse to have voice conversations or even activate their voice mail.
Which brings me to what I really want for Christmas: more voice time with my loved ones of all generations.
And yes, I really do remember awkward, long-distance phone conversations as a little kid and a recalcitrant teen, with elderly relatives I barely knew. It was sometimes challenging even with my fun grandparents, whom I adored, to share thoughts and feelings about the most important things in our lives in a brief phone conversation.
But I also know that’s how I learned to make friends and form real, lasting relationships, and later to become a journalist, where the basic job requirement is to be able to talk to just about anybody about just about anything.
And I know that no emoticon, including the ambivalent sad-happy one named Oxford Dictionary’s word of the year, can’t come close to the nuances found in the human voice.
For the young, the insecure, and also for those hoping to hide the truth and their real selves for nefarious purposes, social media can be a refuge, safe haven and camouflage, a stage for experimenting with new personalities and a form of creative expression. But it can also be a way of hiding from reality, and a powerful way to bully, lie, seduce and endanger under the guise of anonymity.
To grow, to evolve, to change, we need to communicate with one another, as fully and truthfully as humanly possible.
And that’s why I want real, compassionate, conversation for Christmas this year, for all of us. I think we may be surprised and pleased with what we learn about one another, and ourselves.
(And I suspect those who need this message the most are least likely to receive it, so I’ll text you a link and hope for the best.)

S. Derrickson Moore may be reached at dmoore@lcsun-news.com, @derricksonmoore on Twitter and Tout, or call 575-541-5450.

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