AWKWARD SILENCE Pub date May 10
I was concentrating on allergy season aches
and afternoon workloads.
It took me a moment to register that someone
I’d never met had just climbed into the hot tub at our health club.
An awkward silence ensued.
I made some comment about good hot tub
weather. After all, when you find yourself in what is essentially a large
bathtub with a stranger, some pleasantry or greeting seems indicated. But no
perfunctory reply was forthcoming and the awkward silence continued.
Later, I realized the incident stood out because
awkward silences are so rare in Las
Cruces.
At first, I thought it might be something
about the physical nature of our territory.
Elevator rides, for instance, are one of the
most frequent sites for awkward silences and there are very few elevators in Las Cruces.
But then again, I’ve never experienced an
awkward silence during an elevator ride here. I’ve had some intriguing
conversations with people from all over the world about the rarity of Mesilla
Valley elevators (or “lifts” as they call them in Great Britain, a fellow
traveler once informed me) while rising or falling in our still-uncommon,
multi-story governmental, office, medical, financial and university buildings.
The escalator at Barnes & Noble on the New Mexico State University
campus is an even better source of impromptu chatter. As far as I know, it’s
the only one in the county and one of only a few in the whole state. Many of us
can’t resist commenting on that fact and reminiscing about other escalators we
have known in our travels and far-flung home towns.
“You strike me as someone who never met a
stranger,” I was recently told by a nice lady who read a recent Las Cruces
Style column and graciously invited me to a May picnic and wildflower
appreciation gathering on her ranch.
It was a lovely invitation and compliment
that made me feel like a natural-born Las Crucen, thank you very much.
But in my corazon, I know it’s not me: it’s
you all.
It’s true I’ve interviewed thousands of you
over the past decades, and even on my most shy or introverted days, I find it’s
pretty easy to ask anybody their opinions on just about anything.
And that’s because you make it easy. In all
those queries, over all those years, I can count the awkward silences, or “no
comments,” on two hands without running out of fingers or getting into thumbs.
They are so rare, in fact, that I can recall each refusal: most involved
language or immigration issues during times of Borderland crack-downs. And even
then, most of the refusals were accompanied with polite regrets or attempts to
bridge whatever language gaps divided us.
Maybe it’s the wide open spaces, big skies
and wild west spirit that foster companionable, rather than awkward, silences.
A few friendly words seem like a natural segue from appreciation of nature’s
wonders to human urban encounters.
Impromptu conversations are pretty much the
norm here, I’ve found, in ticket queues, supermarket checkout lines, at
festivals, meetings and during ambles around various plazas.
Nearly every newcomer and visitor I meet
remarks about the warmth and friendliness of New Mexicans in general and Las
Crucens in particular.
I’ve heard some particularly poignant,
appreciative comments from members of minority groups in times of strife, and
from those who have relocated from large metropolitan areas or insular,
reserved small towns in cooler climes.
In a world perceived as cold, hard, hostile,
threatening or downright dangerous, too many people on too much of the planet
these days seem to be resigned to keeping silence and maintaining distance.
Just about everyone I’ve talked with here
seems to agree that this is a welcoming refuge from all that.
S. Derrickson Moore may be
reached at dmoore@lcsun-news.com,
@DerricksonMoore on Twitter and Tout, or call 575-541-5450.
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