Alternative Dad’s Day plans

By S. Derrickson Moore

dmoore@lcsun-news.com

Today’s the day.

Have you made plans to get together with your dad or grandfather?

If your schedules, locations, or financial or health considerations make getting together impossible, have you sent off the card and gifts?

If not, don’t panic. Dads tend to be forgiving about these things and there are lots of last-minute strategies that can make your father feel special on his day.

If all his favorite restaurants are booked, you can deliver a picnic basket packed with some of his favorite treats, invite him over for a special meal  or offer to grill the steaks, burgers or salmon at his home or yours.

Give him a book or movie you think he’d like, or tickets to a sports or entertainment event and make a date to enjoy it with him.

Since many dads hate crowds (and waiting in line, and public displays), you may actually be making his day considerably brighter.

If dad’s at a distance, you can still share some face time via phone or Skype. Or consider making a date for a low-tech, voice-only phone call. No matter how tech savvy your dad is, this is not a time for mere texting. This is an occasion for snail mail letters and cards, and the warmth of hearing your voice, gifts that will warm his heart, and maybe earn a place in his desk or bureau drawer for decades after the day.

For those of us who have lost our dads, there are still many ways to honor memories and celebrate the day.

Reach out to widows, children, grandchildren and other relatives and friends of departed dads. Plan letters or phone chats and share favorite memories.

If you’re up to it, get some flowers and plan an expedition to his cemetery plot, a place you scattered his ashes, or one of his favorite places or somewhere you think he would have loved seeing.

Follow that with an upper of some kind: a walk, a meal.

If you have friends or family with loved ones in the military who are stationed far away, or who have died in the service, make a special effort to help them remember those special dads today.

Gather packing materials and gifts of toiletries and nonperishable treats and help their stateside families assemble goody packages to send off to those serving far away.

And for those who lost brave dads in battle, from World War II to the present, a prayer, a card, a call, can help ease grief with warm memories.

If you are of a certain age, probably many or all in your circle of friends are without dads to spoil on this Father’s Day.

It’s a good opportunity to gather for a little memorial lunch or dinner of your own. Ask friends and relatives to bring a few old photos of their dads and at various stages of family life, with newborns, small children, teens, first grandchildren, etc. Pass the photos around the table and share favorite anecdotes about your dad and experiences you’ve shared.

Not all of us were fortunate enough to have or know our dads while growing up. If you know someone in that category, it would be sweet to reach out and include him or her in your plans, maybe for a quiet meal, a movie or a concert.

Think beyond the traditional biological or adoptive father box, too. It’s a perfect time to honor good people who have been father figures in your life or the lives of friends and relatives.

Teachers, coaches, clergy, mentors, friends ... any admirable father or parental figure in your life, or those of your friends and loved ones, will appreciate your recognition and appreciation of his or her contributions today.

And never forget the best gift of all, for dads here and present, far away and recently or long-ago departed. Tell him: “I love you.”

Wherever your dad is, I believe he’ll get the message.

Happy Father’s Day.

S. Derrickson Moore may be reached at 575-541-5450. Follow her on Twitter @DerricksonMoore